A New Week | June 7th | The Authenticity Ceiling
The #1 Reason Leaders Don’t Achieve Their Full Potential
In my coaching, I often work with high-performing leaders who are struggling to achieve their full potential.
Sometimes they already know what’s blocking them from accessing that next level of personal alignment, energy, and power, and they just need me (or someone like me) in their corner to provide guidance and accountability.
But other times, what my clients think is blocking them when they start their coaching journey turns out only to be a mere clue, and what we end up discovering together is that they’re actually bumping up against something I call an “authenticity ceiling.”
At a high level, an authenticity ceiling is a personal inability to bring your fully activated and engaged whole human self to the table. Here’s how you can tell someone’s running up against one:
Analysis paralysis and prolonged hesitation when making important decisions
Inability to form loyal bonds consistently
Inability to be let one’s guard down and connect personally in a genuine way (especially among professional peers)
Inability to ask direct, pointed questions or say what needs to be said
Inability to feel confident and calm when navigating conflict
Energy renewal after a long day feels impossible, and the weekend always feels too short
There is perhaps no greater obstacle to full engagement, optimal performance, and productivity at elite levels of leadership than the indecisiveness, insecurity, and internal inconsistency that characterize someone who’s capped by their own authenticity ceiling.
And the cost is incredibly high. Consider how much business value you’re leaving on the table if you can’t make decisions with speed and confidence, if you can’t connect genuinely and cultivate loyalty with our closest allies, if you can’t address the elephant in the room or ask the questions nobody else is asking, if you can’t stay composed when everyone else is losing it, and if you can’t bring real (read: not fake!) energy and passion to our work.
And of course the greatest cost isn’t measured in dollar signs, but in terms of your personal legacy and sense of fulfillment. Of course it’s scary to think about the power and responsibility that would come from breaking through to the next level of authentic leadership. Of course it’s terrifying to think about how uncomfortable and painful it would be to face your blindspots, shortcomings, and darkest shadows—the work that’s necessary to advance and break the ceiling. But what should be much scarier is the thought of never even trying because you were too stubborn or complacent to get unstuck. Because you let your reptile brain try to keep you safe by preventing change, because you let it dictate what to think and feel based on past experiences rather than growing in real time with your experiences, doing the necessary work of shedding old skin and growing anew along the way.
So how do you get unstuck? How do you break through an authenticity ceiling?
Acknowledge that this is a practice. Embodied living is a practice. The work never ends. The quest for authenticity repeats itself throughout life.
Understand that this process is messy and nonlinear. It’s going back and forth, making time to think and integrate,asking yourself hard questions or having someone next to you who helps you with that, it’s believing that taking time out of your busy schedule and spend an hour becoming aware of how you feel, and what you’re not feeling, where you’re feeling it, and then letting the potential overwhelm tell you where you’re heading next. This is very conscious work. Only some are cut out for it, but we are all meant to do it. We all have the potential to evolve into the versions of ourselves that serve ourselves and others.
Ground yourself in honesty. How connected are you to the daily impact of your organization? Sometimes we need to re-connect with our why in order to understand how that once gave us the fuel and passion to go after the everyday management of things. What can you do today to be in touch with the people you’re impacting daily? What did you see there? How did it make you feel? What do they need from you?
Invite the feeling of belonging. In your relationships with others (work, home, friends, wider family): what needs to be said, that hasn’t been said? Where would a raw, honest conversation release new energy or a necessary ending that would support both parties?
Reconnect with yourself. Make time to breathe, and feel yourself. Commit to a daily practice of 10-15 min that allows you to feel your body’s signals. Then perform the unarguable check-in by writing about “the unarguable check-in”: 1) What are three unarguable things I am feeling in my body? 2) What core (sad, angry, scared, happy, creative) emotion(s) am I feeling? 3) What is my next thought?
Fill your psychological cup. Journal about the greatest leadership challenges you are facing. Start with every Monday, and gradually increase to spending 10 minutes every morning doing this before you kick off your day of meetings. Meet with yourself to give yourself attention before you give attention and care to everyone else. Ask yourself: 1) What energizes me today? What might drain me today? How can I optimize both to my advantage? 2) Cultivate new perspective: How is the opposite true of what I am struggling with right now? 3) Where (in my body) am I protecting myself from growing? Why is that? Do I remember a time in my life where this happened before? 4) Am I making myself smaller or bigger than I am? What am I compensating for? What are some of the self-limiting beliefs that make me act this way?
Remember your body budget. Remember that everything you hope to accomplish in your life starts from your body being healthy. Check in with yourself and ask: What’s your body budget? How much have I slept today? How much have I moved today? What have I eaten today? Am I choosing the best version of myself in the basics of human health and potential?
It’s blissful to live in complacency, not ever seeking out blind spots or facing demons. You might decide to stay where you are, and that’s ok. But remember there is so much on the other side of the authenticity ceiling.
All the love, all the power,
Franzi
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Weekly Discoveries & News:
An embodied moment:
Perform a hip opening stretch and listen to your body. What comes up? What are the emotions flowing in? What do you need (to voice or release)?
A journaling question:
My husband Ted and I have launched a 30-day journaling challenge to 115 people last week and I wanted to share one of the questions that came up for me as I was writing this article.
A quick note:
Ping me for a virtual coffee if you feel like this is something that’s important to you.
I am open to serving two more clients this summer that feels like an authentic fit for both parties.
A moment:
This is my son Atlas. He reminded me of an importance notion and nuance today, that I struggled with early in my motherhood journey:
I am working hard, love my work, my clients, have so many ideas, and project in the pipeline and hope I will never need to retire in the traditional sense....
But my kids will be my forever #1 and greatest sense of success I’ve ever felt. My heart knows: I am a mom first.
I always hope that all my fellow elite performing moms remember that you be both. You have an abundant energy for the things that are truly yours and align with you. Including the hard choices that come with it ;)